The Twelve Steps of Digg Anonymous

The 12 Steps of Digg Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over digging and that our lives had become boring as f*ck.


2. Came to believe that an Administrator greater than ourselves could restore banned accounts if they so chose to.


3. Made a decision to turn content and our lives over to the care of an Algorithm that we really don't understand 87.99999% of the time.


4. Made a searching and fearless double inventory of our submissions to screen out potential dupes that the duplicate finder probably overlooked.


5. Admitted to HAL, to ourselves, and to a non-digg user the exact nature of our digg obsession, (even though they had no idea what the f*ck we were talking about, but it made us feel better to at least make-believe they understood)


6. Were entirely ready to have 24 hour Tech Support remove all bugs, errors and make fixes and implement upgrades within 60 seconds or less [so we don't have to sit and stare at the, "we'll be right back" screen, clicking refresh over and over and over again.]


7. Humbly asked the Admin to remove drop down ads, rude people and flash ad actresses that are kinda homely and can't act.


8. Made a list of all users we had harmed in comment threads, and became willing to make amends to them all by giving them a token digg for their submission, "Top 10 Nifty Christmas Knitting Ideas for 3 legged Teacup Poodles"


9. Made direct amends to such users wherever possible, except when to do so would get all of your submissions buried for the next 6 months.


10. Continued to take personal inventory of inactive friends so as not to waste shouts and when we were unfriended, promptly unfriendly them right back, but then befriend them back when they befriend us back, unless they became inactive or banned in which case we would un-friend them with the exception being they were on vacation in the Bahamas which in that case it wouldn't count.


11. Sought through diggs, bribes, shouts, sexual favors, email, IM's, texts, skype and Morse code to improve our conscious contact with other users to help each other make the Front Page as we understood it, hoping only for 1000's of diggs and the power to do it again and again and again... whilst laughing maniacally.


12. Having had a cheap thrill by finally getting front paged as the result of these steps, we tried to keep this message from other users, and to practice these principles in total secret, and to knock the competition the f*ck out of the way on the upcoming pages so everyone can move up... one more digg at a time.