Top Ten signs you could be a Digg-o-Holic

Are you in Digg-nial?

Have you ever said or thought any of the following statements:

A. "I can stop digging at any time"


B. "I'm just a borderline digger"


C. "I only digg on weekends or at lunch"


D. "Other people digg way too much"


If you've answered 'yes' or 'maybe' or 'I'm not sure' to A,B C or D you may have a problem.


Here are a list of Top Ten signs that might indicate you are a digg-o-holic and not just a problem digger.

If you can relate to more than (3) signs you should probably seek help immediately*

Top Ten signs you could be a Digg-o-holic 

1. Talking or thinking excessively about digging when you 'are' or 'are not' digging.

2. If someone has a 'quasi' interesting submission that doesn't make the front page, you resubmit it anyway knowing full well it's a dupe. (akin to the alcoholic finishing everyone's drinks at the table before your group leaves the bar)

3. Digging two submissions at the same time - most of the time.

4. Feeling a need to catch up with the rest of the diggers when you first arrive at the site.

5. 'Having' to digg - rather than 'wanting' to digg.

6. Digging to get dug.

7. Late or missing work to digg.

8. Digg surfing and Driving.

9. Trying to submit a digg by carrier pigeon.

10. Digging alone.



Obviously not everyone is a digg-o-holic. In conclusion the difference between digging to excess and being a digg-o-holic can be a fine line.


Perhaps this story can sum it up best:


Let's say one night I ate 3000 banana's and got really sick and you dugg 3000 stories and got really burned out... eventually that night we both agree that we are sick and tired.


The difference between a digg-o-holic and someone who diggs to excess is that I'm not going to start eating banana's again at 6am in the morning.

*Disclaimer: This SHOULD NOT be construed as medical advice. It just simply means you may have a problem and that there is also a high probabilty you don't get laid very often.

The Twelve Steps of Digg Anonymous

The 12 Steps of Digg Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over digging and that our lives had become boring as f*ck.


2. Came to believe that an Administrator greater than ourselves could restore banned accounts if they so chose to.


3. Made a decision to turn content and our lives over to the care of an Algorithm that we really don't understand 87.99999% of the time.


4. Made a searching and fearless double inventory of our submissions to screen out potential dupes that the duplicate finder probably overlooked.


5. Admitted to HAL, to ourselves, and to a non-digg user the exact nature of our digg obsession, (even though they had no idea what the f*ck we were talking about, but it made us feel better to at least make-believe they understood)


6. Were entirely ready to have 24 hour Tech Support remove all bugs, errors and make fixes and implement upgrades within 60 seconds or less [so we don't have to sit and stare at the, "we'll be right back" screen, clicking refresh over and over and over again.]


7. Humbly asked the Admin to remove drop down ads, rude people and flash ad actresses that are kinda homely and can't act.


8. Made a list of all users we had harmed in comment threads, and became willing to make amends to them all by giving them a token digg for their submission, "Top 10 Nifty Christmas Knitting Ideas for 3 legged Teacup Poodles"


9. Made direct amends to such users wherever possible, except when to do so would get all of your submissions buried for the next 6 months.


10. Continued to take personal inventory of inactive friends so as not to waste shouts and when we were unfriended, promptly unfriendly them right back, but then befriend them back when they befriend us back, unless they became inactive or banned in which case we would un-friend them with the exception being they were on vacation in the Bahamas which in that case it wouldn't count.


11. Sought through diggs, bribes, shouts, sexual favors, email, IM's, texts, skype and Morse code to improve our conscious contact with other users to help each other make the Front Page as we understood it, hoping only for 1000's of diggs and the power to do it again and again and again... whilst laughing maniacally.


12. Having had a cheap thrill by finally getting front paged as the result of these steps, we tried to keep this message from other users, and to practice these principles in total secret, and to knock the competition the f*ck out of the way on the upcoming pages so everyone can move up... one more digg at a time.

Sarah Palin - Hockey Mom or Ticking Time Bomb?

• Could Sarah Palin be a Secret Plant for the KGB?
•  Is she keeping an eye on Putin or is it the other way around?
  
• A beauty pageant contestant & Governor of Alaska make for great cover stories. You Betcha!
  
• We all know about her fondness for gazing at 'Mother Russia'.
• She acts dumb... but is she really... stupid? You betcha?
  
• But don't let mere words try to convey what could be the Mother of all Super Secret Undercover plots of the Century!

Watch this video and make up your own damn mind!

In mere seconds, that folksy gal in the fuzzy, baby seal slippers could go zombie on our asses and be slamming the red button after a "friendly" call from comrade, You Know Who!

Think about it!

  
But don't think about too long or your brain might explode.